i permit you to call me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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