Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
