If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
