She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
