This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
