Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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