How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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