69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
