I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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