It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
