I'm so fucking centered right now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
