O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
