hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
