i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
FUCK WHALES
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
