I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.