508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
