There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize