I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
