just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
