I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
