We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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