I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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