just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
