Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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