I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
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Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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