WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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