Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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