there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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