you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
