Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
