I'm jealous of your bromance
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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