M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
