theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I just put wine in my tea
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
