If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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