I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
