I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
