Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
