I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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