Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize