I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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