I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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