Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
