Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
