I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
