I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
