Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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