Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
