Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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