girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found puke in my bra..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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