your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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