omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize