after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize