weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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