clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
