He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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