you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Come on in and take your pants off
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