this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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