Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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