Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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