playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
