I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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