you guys were way drunker than both of me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
